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The Most Annoying Things People Put On Facebook

 

Facebook is fast becoming the most annoying, yet addictive, place to be.

I shudder daily at the absolute stupidity of some of my Facebook 'friends'. Everything in my body tells me to delete them, yet I am too nosey to miss anything...

I mean, come on, if I delete them, who the hell am I going to rant about?

Here's what you shouldn't be doing if you don't want to become a laughing stock on Facebook.

 TMI Parents

TMI Parents
 
We all think our babies are the best thing since sliced bread, but we don't all feel the need to do the following:
 

1 - Announce to the world when little Shaniqua has her first poo on the potty or has just taken a wee on your new rug.

2 - Post pictures of naked newborns or pictures of your kids in the bath, you do realise Facebook is a public forum, right? You do realise the internet is a paedophile's paradise, right? You are all there in the head, right?

3 - Tell little Harri-Jay you love him on the end of every status you create....even if it's about your lunch. Now call me old fashioned but I prefer to actually tell my kids I love them in person.

 

4 - Wishing one year old Fifi a happy birthday on your status. Since she can't read and almost certainly doesn't have a Facebook account, it's a bit of a pointless effort really.

5 - There's also no need to announce how you can't believe little Denim will be 11 in four weeks, and have a repeated follow up of how you still can't believe up until said event. Countdowns to anything but Christmas should be banned.

6 - Adding your kids on your Facebook and saying things that encourage them to comment. My kids are on my friends list but little do they know they are on a restricted setting so they can't see anything. I have seen people put dirty jokes on without thinking and their kids have responded with "Mum, that's disgusting" which is then made worse by the parents keeping the argument going by saying something like "it's my Facebook, if you don't like it, don't look" *shudders*

7 - Now for the worst one yet, the one that makes my skin crawl.......Updating your work information to "Full time mummy". I can't begin to express how ridiculous this makes you look. It's always young girls, who have never worked a day in their lives that do it. These Jeremy Kyle rejects need to get off their arses and get a real job like the rest of us. And FYI you can be a full time 'mummy' with a job as well.....go figure.

8 - Now on that note, we can't forget the ones that put "mummy" in their Facebook names....sigh!

9 - Then you go from the parents who harp on about their kids constantly to the parents that moan they can't go out because they have kids, or go on about how naughty they are. Get over it, all kids are naughty occasionally, we don't all need to know about your bad parenting skills.

 

 Attention seekers

 attention
 
 
Now this is for all you people who have ever been bored and wanted a little bit of attention...
 

1 - Posting vague status like, "OMG I can't believe what's just happened" or "Hahahahaha revenge is sweet". Then when (as expected) people start asking what's wrong or what's happened you put, "Inbox me" or "nothing, it's fine now".

Now I always find it funny in these situations as you will have half the replies on the lines of "I hope you're ok" "you know where I am if you need me" etc and the other half which is people asking "what's happened"....thank god for these people as it saves me asking (I am far too nosey for my own good, hence why these types of status' are a particular pet hate).

2 - Fishing for compliments, when that size zero girl with a face like a goddess posts status' about being fat and ugly. No words can describe my contempt for this. As Marylin Monroe once said, there's a fine line between low self esteem and attention seeking.

3 - Creating a status saying how much you hate attention seekers...Really!

4 - The gym freaks, can't forget the gym tags & workout diaries, yawn.

5 - Lonely people on Facebook have to be some of the saddest things I have ever had to witness on Facebook, why oh WHY would you ever post a status saying you need 'cuddles' it really is beyond desperate and your entire friends list know you're only doing it in the hope of one of your single friends inboxing you with an offer.

6 - People who use music quotes for a status do it simply to say something they want to say, without actually 'saying it'.

7- Nothing screams 'I crave attention right now' more than announcing, "I'm deleting my account" or "I'm cleaning out my friends list".

 Relationships

 
facebookrelationships 
 
 

Living out your relationships on Facebook is dangerous and cringe-worthy 9/10, here's what we don't want to see:

1 - How much you love each other, if it's a birthday or special occasion, fair enough of course you might put on your partners wall a birthday wish followed by a cheeky I love you. But we really don't need to see it day in day out. Why can you not just tell each other? It's what most normal humans do.

2 - Talk to each other on Facebook whilst in the same room, again you can simply just tell each other.

3 - Put flirty messages on each others walls pertaining to what ever sordid details you got up to the night before, please don't think we're all stupid, we can decipher your 'code' and quite frankly, we're not interested in your bedroom activities.

4 - If you're going to be in a relationship please don't live it on Facebook, one minute, "oh Levi is so sweet he bought me flowers", then two days later, "that idiot hasn't been home all night, I know he's with her again"....two days later "Levi and Tanya are engaged" pops up on your feed. And repeat!

5 - No one needs to see your passive-aggressive digs about how "somebody" never appreciates you. Especially me.

6 - Joint profiles like Samndave Jones. You clearly don't trust one another so you may as well just give up right now.

 Pictures

uglybaby 
 
 

Pictures on Facebook can often be fun and interesting, but some people just take things too far. Here's a list of photo fails:

1 - Pictures of ugly kids, now as parents we all think our little ones are gorgeous, but I often think some people are literally blinded by love. Now I know plenty of people with ugly kids and they post pictures occasionally, but what strikes the most terror in me is the ones who continually post pictures of their little gargoyles with captions like "My little beaut" or "My handsome boy" I often think is it over compensation? or do they truly think their little horror child is beautiful?

2 - Pictures of young girls with the caption "I look ugly in this one but oh well" - Please, if you thought you looked ugly there's no way in this world you would post it, I know I wouldn't.

3 - Men who work out and post pictures of their muscles whilst posing, this is unbelievably cringey.

4 - The mirror pose, these sexy mirror pictures are long overdue for extinction. Even if you do look sexy in one of these you lose about a million sexy points just for taking it.

5 - The duck pout, just stop, please for the love of god STOP. It's not sexy and it makes you look like an idiot.

6 - Posting pictures of food, Congratulations you can cook, give yourself a pat on the back. Now for those of us on diets, excuse us while we go and cry.

7 - Hashtags: Now these can be ok as long as you know where to draw the line.  And the use of #nofilter on a pic is never needed in any situation, we all know you're gorgeous so bore off!

8- Daily selfies, nothing screams 'tell me I'm beautiful' like a daily selfie whore.

General stupidity

 
like
 
 

There's so much stupidity that goes on via Facebook that I could go on all week, but here's a few of the best:

1 - Bipolar status' - These kinds of 'friends' are my particular favourite, one minute they're all rainbows and glitter and forcing it in your face how wonderful their family, partners, life etc is. Next minute they're suicidal and everything is wrong. And repeat!!!

2 - Annoying fake middle names like Amy SoSexyItHurts Smith. It's lame, you're far from sexy, so stop it.

3 - Spelling and grammar. If u rite lyk dis u r a idyut. If you can't spell something, please for the love of god just Google it.

4 - Asking for the phone number to your local GP or restaurant, if you can get online to post a status, I'm pretty damned sure you can Google the contact number yourselves. Is it laziness or attention? Answers on a postcard please.

5 - Moaning about game requests and saying you will delete people who send them, either do it and shut up or be really clever and simply press the little X in the corner of the game and block it....you can now get on with your life, as you were.

6 - The people who offer services, such as photography/cake making/tattoos/hair dressing etc then post pictures of their products that are clearly rubbish, yet people still jump to pay them to do it for them and tell them how great they are. Some people will literally sell their souls to save £10.

7 - Good time parents who hint for babysitters on their Facebook. Do any of my Facebook friends, who I wouldn't even speak to in the street want to look after my children?

 8 - Sharing or liking a picture to win yourself £500 of Asda or Tesco vouchers, no matter how many times these places tell you all it's nothing to do with them and it's a scam, people still repeatedly like and share them.

 9 - Like or share a picture to cure cancer...I sometimes think peoples stupidity overlaps to actual insanity. Do you honestly think sharing a picture on Facebook will stop cancer? It dumfounds me.

10 - My sister thinks she's not beautiful please like this pic to show her she is......remember that? the little girl with down syndrome? Well her pic was stolen and she was farmed to get likes to make the spammer money, read the story here.

Let me take a minute to explain why these spammers really want you to like and share their picture. The Facebook 'Like algorithm' is Facebook’s way of dictating if content is of any value to users. The more likes/shares/comments it gets, the important Facebook thinks it is and will then give the page more credibility and Facebook will rank it higher.

 

MissRantALot

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