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So if you have found yourself here, I'm hoping and praying you're not the easily offended type, if you are.....move along, it's for the best.  This blog is the recipient of random life reflections (rants) and things that get on my nerves mainly, it's my way to get things off my chest without committing murder, win-win!.  It's not that I'm always angry, but that I'm more compelled to blog when my adrenaline is flowing...


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"I say what I like, and I like what I say"
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So today, the worst thing EVER happened to me, one of my darling twin girls (Esmee) started grinding her teeth...

The sound it makes, makes my entire body want to curl up and die, the noise is excruciating - like fingers down a blackboard. I actually feel faint when she does it.

I don't even know how to stop it, at present I'm giving a firm "no" and shoving my finger between her teeth when she does it, also distraction techniques like food and drink.  She doesn't have a dummy but I'm seriously starting to regret that decision, as I'm sure that would do the trick.

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The day I found out I was having twins was one of the most surreal of my entire 36 years.  There was laughter, hysterics and tears.....soooo many tears.

Looking back, all the warning signs were there, the debilitating sickness being the main one.  At my first midwife appointment I mentioned how sick I was, and that it was out of my 4 pregnancies the worst sickness to date, she replied with "well, that, coupled with your age, weight, height and previous pregnancies, I'd say you were a likely candidate for twins" I just laughed and though "shut up you daft cow" in my head and we moved on to the booking in......little did I know, she was spot on!!

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So for us self employed WAH folk, people think we're lucky being able to work from home and not need childcare you'd think!

I have always worked from home and with my last child (now 7) I found it really hard then, I soon had to put her in private nursery for 2 days a week just to get anything done.  That said, with childcare being extortionate for even one child, when you have twins it's pretty much unrealistic.

When the twins were first born it was easy, they pretty much slept all day, I even severely broke my wrist when they were 8 weeks old (week in hospital, plates and pins) and even then I continued working easily. 

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So today I decided to take my gruesome twosome shopping, this is not something I do lightly, but I was getting cabin fever and really missing my fix of B&M Bargains.  So I went for it, after about an hour of dressing, redressing after a vomiting incident, packing the bag, putting on the coats and strapping two flailing screaming 1 year olds in to their car-seats, I was SET!!

Pulls up to Wilkos first, had a quick scout and couldn't see any twin trolleys, so I had to set up the pram, put them both in, go find a manager, only to be told "Sorry madam, as a company we don't offer double trolleys"........BRILLIANT.   So put twins back in the car, fold up pram,  put it back in the boot and off to B&Ms.

Guess what? Same again, even the single ones didn't have straps!!! Poor show.

Friday, 02 December 2016 20:36

Why park next to me in an empty car park?

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A simple request/plea from all us twin mums (and dads) oh and parents with 2 or more under 5s out there.....if the car park is empty and you see my car, alone, minding it's own business.....please for the love of god don't park next to me, bog off and park somewhere else. Why do people do this? It grips my absolute shit.

There is absolutely no need for you to come next to my car, it's not lonely and it's in the abyss for a very good reason.   We park in the middle of nowhere purposely to have access to both sides, yet without fail when you get back from dragging your demon duo around the shops it's almost guaranteed that some giant anus will have parked right next to you.....often close enough to block access.

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So today I decided to make a corned beef pie...

After fighting with those square shaped devil tins for about half an hour, in the end I gave up and started hacking in to it with a giant cleaver. It was like something out of a horror movie! I finally managed to cut the stupidly shaped tin with the cleaver (as well as my finger), and scoop out the insides with a tea spoon.

I managed to (of course) almost lose a finger in the process, so while I was trying to stop the flow of blood and telling a can of meat it was an absolute arsehole, I stared to wonder why, after all the god damned bloody years of technology has no one invented a tin of corned beef you can actually open without losing a digit? Don't even get me started on that ridiculous key that snapes EVERY time.

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